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24. Towards a more American Conversation

U don't open conversation (on telephone) with a “Hello” but with a “Hi”

The telephone is never “engaged”, it's always “busy”.

U don't “disconnect” a phone, U simply “hang-up”.

U never “mess-up” things, U only “screw them up”.

U never have a “residence” tel. no., U have a “home” no.

U don't stop at the “signals”, but halt at the “lights”.

U don't “accelerate”, U “step on the gas”.

Your tire never “punctures”, U may have a “flat”.

The trains have “coaches” or “bogies” no more but “carriages” or “boxes”.

There R no “petrol bunks or pumps”, but “gas stations”.

“I don't know nothing”, 2 negatives don't make a positive here.

U no longer meet a “wonderful” person, U meet a “cool” guy

U don't pull the “switch down ” to light a bulb, rather “flick it up”.

U don't “turn on the heat”, U “turn on the juice”.

There's no “Business Area” only “business districts”, and no “districts” but “counties”.

No one stays “a stone's throw away”, might “a few blocks away”.

There's no “Town Side”, it's Down Town ”.

In hotel U no longer ask for “bill” and pay by “cheque”, rather ask for “check” and pay with (Dollar) “bills”.

There R no “soft drinks”, only “sodas”.

Life's no longer “miserable” it “stinks”.

U don't have a “great” time, U have a “ball”.

U don't “sweat it out”, U “work U'r butt off”.

Never “post” a letter, always “mail” it and “glue” the stamps, don't “stick” them.

U no longer live in “flats” or “blocks”, find an “apartment”.

U don't stand in a “queue”, you are in a “line”.

U no longer “like” something, U “appreciate” it.

“#” is not “hash”, it's “pound”.

U R not “deaf”, U have “impaired hearing”.

U R not “lunatic”, U are just “mentally challenged”.

U R not “disgusting” U R “sick”.

U can't get “surprised” U get “zapped”.

U don't “schedule” a meeting, U “skejule” it.

U never “joke”, U just “kid”.

U never “increase” the pressure, U always “crank” it up.

U never ask for a pencil “rubber” U ask for an “eraser”. A “rubber” is a “condom”

U don't try to find a “lift”, U find an “elevator”.

U no more ask for a “route” but for a “RAUT”

U don't ask somebody “How r u ?”, U say “What's up dude?”

U never go to see a “game or a match”, U go to watch a “game”.

U never go to a “theatre” (theatre is a place for dramatic presentations), U go to the “movies”.

If U see “World” champions (or Series), read USA champions (or Series).

There's no “zero” but “o”, no “Z” but “zee”.

There's no “FULL STOP” after a statement, there's a “PERIOD”.

If someone gets “angry” at U, U get “flamed”.

You don't say “How do you do”, you say “How you doin”

U don't call UR boss “sir”, U call him by his “first name”.

In short, U don't speak “English”, U speak “American”.


Well u don’t say life is boring u say “LIFE SUCKS!!!”

8 Comments:

  • Thank you very much

    Its indeed very useful.

    Keep going.

    By Anonymous Arasu GT, at 7:17 AM  

  • Not Exactly true. The following statements are not that true.

    1.U never “mess-up” things, U only “screw them up.

    2. U no longer meet a “wonderful” person, U meet a “cool” guy

    3. U don't “turn on the heat”, U “turn on the juice”.

    4.U don't ask somebody “How r u ?”, U say “What's up dude?”


    These might be due to regional variation or due to subcultures.


    1.U CAN “mess-up” things,
    2. U CAN meet a “wonderful” person,
    3. U CAN “turn on the heat”,
    4.U CAN ask somebody “How r u?

    How are you is the standard phrase. You don't ask someone one the street. Whats up dude. That's plan rude

    My 10 cents

    By Blogger Judy, at 7:49 AM  

  • I was about to post the same exact comment as Judy...You don't have to be THAT informal...what's up dude can't go to any random person. It's never ok to say "screw" to a person whom you are not close to. I think what you're doing is great and helpful to those new to the country, but some of this is a lil too much. What's wrong with saying accelerating instead of stepping on the gas and saying you joke instead of kidding? WOw this sounds like you picked synonyms of each word and said only some are acceptable.

    By Anonymous Jolie, at 8:25 AM  

  • NACHCHI COMMENTS.....

    REALLY COOL

    READ ALL THE ARTICLES....

    ESPECIALLY THE LAST STATEMENT

    "LIFE SUCKS" FOR "LIFE IS BORIN" IS

    AWESOME

    By Blogger indian, at 1:04 PM  

  • Some of the words are too cool.I mean you can not be that informal unless you are too close.

    By Blogger Mahesh, at 3:43 PM  

  • who the hell told you you don't say hello on the fone? unless it's a close frnd calling and u have caller id, u always say hello...and u most certainly can turn on the heat...dude...dis post "stinks"

    By Blogger GGMU, at 9:50 AM  

  • about half of this is not true

    By Blogger Jenna, at 9:32 PM  

  • Screw is a slang word for sex so you should never "screw up" around superiors etc.

    You don't have to be so casual; it almost sounds forced and silly.

    For instance, I never say "turn on the juice", because it sounds unnatural, and I'm a native speaker.

    I've also never said, "What's up dude?" It's mostly used by men who are close friends.

    By Blogger ashgreen, at 6:52 PM  

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