24. Towards a more American Conversation

U don't open conversation (on telephone) with a “Hello” but with a “Hi”

The telephone is never “engaged”, it's always “busy”.

U don't “disconnect” a phone, U simply “hang-up”.

U never “mess-up” things, U only “screw them up”.

U never have a “residence” tel. no., U have a “home” no.

U don't stop at the “signals”, but halt at the “lights”.

U don't “accelerate”, U “step on the gas”.

Your tire never “punctures”, U may have a “flat”.

The trains have “coaches” or “bogies” no more but “carriages” or “boxes”.

There R no “petrol bunks or pumps”, but “gas stations”.

“I don't know nothing”, 2 negatives don't make a positive here.

U no longer meet a “wonderful” person, U meet a “cool” guy

U don't pull the “switch down ” to light a bulb, rather “flick it up”.

U don't “turn on the heat”, U “turn on the juice”.

There's no “Business Area” only “business districts”, and no “districts” but “counties”.

No one stays “a stone's throw away”, might “a few blocks away”.

There's no “Town Side”, it's “ Down Town ”.

In hotel U no longer ask for “bill” and pay by “cheque”, rather ask for “check” and pay with (Dollar) “bills”.

There R no “soft drinks”, only “sodas”.

Life's no longer “miserable” it “stinks”.

U don't have a “great” time, U have a “ball”.

U don't “sweat it out”, U “work U'r butt off”.

Never “post” a letter, always “mail” it and “glue” the stamps, don't “stick” them.

U no longer live in “flats” or “blocks”, find an “apartment”.

U don't stand in a “queue”, you are in a “line”.

U no longer “like” something, U “appreciate” it.

“#” is not “hash”, it's “pound”.

U R not “deaf”, U have “impaired hearing”.

U R not “lunatic”, U are just “mentally challenged”.

U R not “disgusting” U R “sick”.

U can't get “surprised” U get “zapped”.

U don't “schedule” a meeting, U “skejule” it.

U never “joke”, U just “kid”.

U never “increase” the pressure, U always “crank” it up.

U never ask for a pencil “rubber” U ask for an “eraser”. A “rubber” is a “condom”

U don't try to find a “lift”, U find an “elevator”.

U no more ask for a “route” but for a “RAUT”

U don't ask somebody “How r u ?”, U say “What's up dude?”

U never go to see a “game or a match”, U go to watch a “game”.

U never go to a “theatre” (theatre is a place for dramatic presentations), U go to the “movies”.

If U see “World” champions (or Series), read “ USA ” champions (or Series).

There's no “zero” but “o”, no “Z” but “zee”.

There's no “FULL STOP” after a statement, there's a “PERIOD”.

If someone gets “angry” at U, U get “flamed”.

You don't say “How do you do”, you say “How you doin”

U don't call UR boss “sir”, U call him by his “first name”.

In short, U don't speak “English”, U speak “American”.

Well u don’t say life is boring u say “LIFE SUCKS!!!”

Bookmark on del.icio.us | Digg This! | Reddit It | Stumble It!